by Chris Moran Excerpted here with
permission of author.
Why am I writing this? I have been an atheist for the last
12-13 years of my 23 year existence, at least it was at the age of
11 that I realized fully that I believed there was no god/God. The
exact moment at which I came to this revelation with in myself is a
story I will now tell, which has been told many a time to those in
interest. The exact date or year is fuzzy, but it had to be in 1982
or 1983 (thus the guesstimate in how long I've been an atheist
knowingly), the summer. I had been involved with scouting for a few
years by now. Gotten past cub scouts, got my arrow of light, even a
scouting merit award for saving my father's life. Now though, I was
a BOY SCOUT , and proud of it. I wasn't so much into the
rush of attaining higher ranks. I enjoyed the community feeling and
friendships, as well as the awesome camping trips I went on. My dad
was stationed in Misawa, Japan, with the US Air Force, so when we
went camping or hiking, it was truly in foreign land to most of us.
Exciting!
Well, the most exciting of the camps was a 10 day camp, where my
troop traveled, what seemed forever, to Camp Tama, right outside of
Tokyo about 20 miles shy of Camp Zama (an Army Base). This was
great, for the most part. My first time going (I went twice), I was
frightened to be away from my family for the first time ever, even
though I was excited to be with people I basically loved and
trusted nearly as much. There were many activities planned most
every day, and I even got my fill of a military (and family)
favorite S.O.S., creamed chipped beef on toast, or more
colloquially, Shit On Shingle. Whatever the case, in all my
homesickness, I still had a great time, and upon going home already
started looking forward to coming back next year.
Next year came. This would be the final year of camp and scouting,
for me. Basically, the same old stuff happened, and it was just as
much fun as the previous year, but then one night, history was made
in my life, history I will never forget or forgive. One
early evening, about 6 or 7 members of the troop of about 15 were
sitting around the start of a blazing fire. Just talking the
typical kid stuff, interrupted once in a while by the older
members' talk of girls (I had a girlfriend, sort of...). Then out
of nowhere, one of the guys bursts out about how much he hates
going to church. I just sat back and listened while a few others
jumped on the bandwagon in agreement. Eventually, maybe in a
gloating manner, I mentioned that "I don't have to worry about
that. I don't go to church". This was followed by a bunch of "wow,
you're lucky" and "why not". I obliged them with an answer to the
question ... "I'm not religious". At the time I never actually
though about whether I believed in an actual god or followed the
beliefs of any particular religion. The dog tags my dad had made
for me when I was born said "Protestant" on them, but what's that
mean to a kid?
It wasn't more than a few minutes that it seemed to get around
about my admission. Soon, our scout master came to me and asked me
to join him over on a log about 20 feet away from the others. Why
not? He had with him a copy of the Boy Scout Handbook . When
we sat down, he mentioned hearing me say I'm not religious. He
first went into challenging me to explain how the trees and the sky
and the log we were sitting on could have possibly existed if there
was no God. "I don't know", I said, truthfully, how could I? How
many 10-11 year old kids back then were exposed to enough mental
stimuli to promote asking such questions, outside of the church
atmosphere. None I knew of. He then asked me if I believe in God.
Again said I don't know. It was at that very moment that I
realized, for some strange reason, that I didn't believe in God,
but I had to wait. He then opened up the handbook and flipped to
the well worn pages sporting the Boy Scout Oath ... ending in
"...reverence to God". I had said it hundreds of times, but never
actually knew what it meant or that it was even about a deity. He
also pointed out the Pledge of Allegiance, also in the handbook.
"You need to believe in God, to be a true SCOUT. You know ... we
could have the bus driver take you home early". I learned two
things that early evening in the middle of summer in Camp Tama,
Japan ... I am an atheist, and no one in their right mind should
ever trust a person who forces their religion on you. I pleaded to
be let stay, and I did. But when the camp was over and we arrived
home, I believe I never went back to another meeting, and ever
since have considered that day my re-birth as a conscious human
being.